My emotional meltdown began when my attempts at “simple” computer tasks failed. Access denied. Failed passwords. Accounts locked. Usually, this is just a mild irritation and easily resolved. However, on this day everything went sideways and as my emotions took over my behaviour went from mild irritation to wild rage.
Soon I was in tears. With my arms waving, tears streaming down my face, and my voice shouting, I was unreasonable, irrational, and uncontrolled. I behaved like a two-year-old having a tantrum! Totally unacceptable!
Fortunately, my loving and patient husband encouraged me to have a shower, go for a walk, and calm down as he prayed with me. Later I was able to calmly and easily access my accounts. However, I was left feeling physically drained, emotionally demoralized, and spiritually remorseful that I had behaved unreasonably. How could I call myself a Christian when I acted in such a way? How could I be used by God while I behaved in such an immature manner?
Sometimes I wonder if I will ever learn to be more like Jesus when some days I am more like an upset toddler having a tantrum than a mature and rational adult.
The truth is, I am a flawed human being and God doesn’t expect me to be perfect. Jesus is the only perfect one. I am a Christian simply because I know I need God’s help in my life! Fortunately, God is a patient parent who loves me anyway.
“I waited patiently for the Lord to help me, and he turned to me and heard my cry. He lifted me out of the pit of despair, out of the mud and the mire. He set my feet on solid ground and steadied me as I walked along.” Psalm 40:1-2 NLT
The Bible is full of stories of men and women who were flawed but still used greatly by God. Abraham was a liar. Moses was a murderer. David was an adulterer. Rahab was a prostitute. Peter denied Jesus three times.
Do you ever feel that your bad behaviour disqualifies you from God being able to use you? I do. Often. But if he could use these people to accomplish mighty things, then He can use you and me too. Am I flawed? Yes. Do I have toddler tantrum meltdowns sometimes? Definitely. But I know that God will use imperfect people to display his perfect power in our lives.
When life is messy, overwhelming, or seemingly out of control, we can call on God.
I just need to remember to do it before the meltdown.
Oh, and by the way, I now write down all my passwords!
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