My voice caught in my throat, my eyes started to leak, and my body trembled as I stood facing my manager. Past the lump in my throat and through the pounding in my chest, I managed to say, “I can’t do this anymore. I quit.”
After 33 years as a registered nurse, I realized this chapter was over. I had previously retired, but I had gone back to work because I loved being a nurse. Being a nurse was part of who I was as a person.
I realized nursing has been part of my identity. At a party, the question, ‘What do you do?’ was one of the first asked, and I answered proudly, “I’m a registered nurse.” Even if I wasn’t currently working, it was still part of who I was and how I contributed to society in my profession.
Now, what will I say? Who am I now? How will this shift my identity, perceptions of who I am, and my contributions to society?
In elementary school, I was teased for not wearing the same jeans as everyone else and nicknamed “Levi.” I started wearing glasses that same school year and my nickname grew to “Four-eyed Levi.” Each school day began with a bible reading and singing of the national anthem. Each student took turns reading the daily scripture. The morning it was my turn, I had to read the passage about Levi, the tax collector. I blushed deeply as I heard the snickering from my classmates. I was further humiliated!
But that is not who I was then and not who I am now. My true identity doesn’t lie in my profession, what others think of me, or my societal place. My true identity rests in who God declares I am.
I am God’s masterpiece (Ephesians 2:10); I am a child of God (1 John 3:1); I am loved (Psalm 138:2); I have a purpose (Jeremiah 29:11); I am fearfully and wonderfully made (Psalm 139:14). Furthermore, I am blessed (Ephesians 1:3) and I have been accepted (Romans 15:7) and redeemed! (Isaiah 43:1).
If we allow the words of our accusers to swirl in our thoughts and grow, they can cause a spiral effect, and we start to believe the lies of the enemy. We become discouraged and depressed with feelings of low self-worth. We are plagued by thoughts of insecurity, worry, and loneliness, which cause guilt, shame, and other self-defeating or limiting thoughts.
Whether it is feeling unworthy through an abusive relationship, feeling unappreciated at work, feeling undervalued as a mother or wife, or struggling with inadequacies socially, these thoughts can damage our self-esteem.
We all have times when we are teased, left out, put down, or shamed in some way. Many of you have testimonies that are much harsher than my examples. This can lead to questions of ‘Who am I?’ ‘What is my worth?’ and ‘What is my value?’Sometimes, we spend years of precious time trying to fit in, become known, or blend into the background so we aren’t noticed and ridiculed.
However, As we focus on the identity God has given us, we can counter the negative thoughts in our minds with the positive promises of God. Promises of love, worth, beauty, and sound mind. We have a God who loves us and gives us our identity as the daughters of the King! Our identities may shift as we grow, change, and experience life. But one thing remains the faithfulness of God. He never changes. So boldly embrace your true identity as a child of God. I am still a nurse, but that identity pales in the view of my identity with God.
This blog post is an excerpt from the book: "Come To The Table - Pursuing Peace & Joy Through Grace & Mercy" by Kathleen Knapp, now available on Amazon.
Comments